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One of the biggest mistakes girls often make is only being friendly to their friend group.
It’s okay to have your best friends. It’s crucial to wisely discern who deserves a place in your most trusted circle. But don’t let that keep you from being friendly beyond your friend group. Don’t paint yourself into a corner by only being kind to a select group of girls.
Instead, cast a wide net by being kind to everyone. Increase your odds of finding real friends by making connections wherever you go. Have your PE friends, your French class friends, your volleyball friends, your church friends, etc.
Besides being the right thing to do (and making life more interesting and fun) this gives you a place to go if drama blows up with your closest friends. Girls who act cliquey and exclusive feel the consequence of that choice when they’re suddenly on the outs with their posse, and nobody will take them in because of the way they’ve been treated. You can’t expect people to be there for you when you’ve ignored them, hurt them, or dismissed them in the past.
New on my Substack, for paid subscribers, is a deeper dive into this topic. Of all the advice I’ve given my daughters, this has helped them more than anything in building a strong network of friends. It’s advice I try to take to heart because it’s helped me do the same. I’m a big proponent of building lifelong friendships – and allowing new friendships that could potentially go the distance too.