If your husband m3t3s you to the back, you’re done…See more

 

What should I do about my husband doing things behind my back?

Let me tell you a small story. My story.

I was doing excellent with my academics, and always stood first in my class. I had a great social life and was a very active organizer of various extra-curricular events in my University. So naturally I was very popular. I could sense that a lot of people were jealous of my academic achievements and popularity. It never bothered me though, as I had never expected anything from them.

I had a set of 10 friends who I had considered very close, and used to share everything with them. But why did I consider them close? I don’t know, it just happened. I expected them to not have any ill intentions regarding me, and took that for granted.

I had a great penultimate year during my undergrad program, as I have excelled in almost everything I took interest in. Next summer I went on to do an internship at a very prestigious University abroad, and as soon as I returned, got placed in a big MNC, who offered me a hefty package-the highest in our department that year. All the while, my peers were really struggling to make things happen.

I had a good friend, a girl, who I had been thinking to propose to. We had been friends for a couple of years by then and I really liked her. She was one the most beautiful girls I had ever seen. Things worked out, and she accepted my proposal. This made quite a lot of people on my campus jealous, including a couple of my friends, which I did not realize.

I observed that my friends, who I considered to be very close, were trying to avoid me and hurt me whenever possible. They started talking behind me. Random people who were just acquaintances started asking weird things about me which my friends have been talking about. I doubted the random people, and chose to believe that my friends were good. I thought may be I was not spending much time with my friends and tried to mingle with them even though they avoided me. I was doing this at the cost of not spending time with the person I was in love with. But the more I tried to regain their friendship, the more they avoided me, and the more they criticized me. I was getting sad day-by-day and was loosing hold of things. I ended with a low GPA that semester. My friends attributed my failure to my spending time with my girlfriend. I studied hard the next semester and got the highest GPA of my undergraduate program, so that my friends will stop criticizing. But they did not. They always found something or the other to criticize me.

This went on till I graduated, and we all parted our own ways. Though I was away from all my friends, I felt bad for whatever had happened, and still wanted to prove something to my friends, and win their friendship back. But I never really understood what my mistake was, and what I ought to prove.

A couple of months later I went to my college for my convocation, and thus met my friends. Then something happened which opened my eyes. One of the couple of guys who I had suspected to be jealous of my achievements was mocking me that I don’t have any friends any more. He was clearly happy, and was enjoying what he was saying. All of a sudden, the equations inside my head got reversed. I realized that he was just jealous and was happy to see me sad. My expectation that my friends will never hold any ill intentions regarding me was preventing me from looking at things in a simple way, and was hurting me.

After a bit of contemplation, I decided to stop expecting anything from them and stopped reacting for their mockery. I understood that life is not always fair, and it was not my mistake to consider them close. Over time I started spending more time with the girl who I was in love with, and who had patiently waited for me to realize the truth, with out leaving me. I started focusing my energy on things I am interested in, and started building my skills. When they realized that I was not getting affected by their criticism anymore, some of them tried being nice to me and tried repairing the damaged relationship. I reacted in a normal way and let them repair it. But they are not the same for me anymore, and their actions don’t affect me, as I don’t expect anything from them.

Today, two years after I graduated, I am very satisfied with the job I had done till last August, and am pursuing my Master’s in an Ivy League University since September. I made many new friends. I am still with the same girl. I am happy.